Speaking of Joy

"...The salt of joy is sorrow, a touch of tears. If we in our present mortal state met joy in her fullness, we would drown in laughter. We would be blinded and struck dumb by gladness and mirth. This may sound a pleasant way to die, but it probably would be undendurable. To be struck by unmanageable shafts of infinite sweetness would quake and crack our being into a billion pieces- it would break our hearts. Thus, instead of being explosive in us, joy is calmed and watered down like a potent wine with a note of gravity, loss, and sorrow."

~Suprised by Laughter: The Comic World of C.S. Lewis by Terry Lindvall (emphasis my own)

Day-to-Day

March 14, 2011

I didn't want to get up this morning. I feel that this is somewhat a common theme among my posts lately, and I apologize, but it is also rather a common theme in my life. I wish it was exclusive to my blog world. I actually went back to bed after being up for an hour and rolled myself into something that looked like a caterpillar, hoping I wouldn't have to wake up until Spring Break started. The alarm cruelly shattered my delusion. I thought if I started listing off all the things I was thankful for in today (which started out something like "Thank you God that I'm breathing and was capable of opening my eyes this morning...") and taking to God everything I wasn't thankful for, I would actually start to be thankful and stop whining. It took about 30 minutes. At that point I was kicking myself for not being joyful because things weren't going my way. I tend to exaggerate when I'm tired, so, for instance, things like tests and speeches=instant death. As I said, exaggeration. I had to stop for a moment and tell my self I wasn't going to die, the day would be over soon enough, and if my hope was anchored firmly in Christ it should not waver because of speech class.

Now it's almost 7 pm and- obviously- I haven't died. Today was actually a really good day. I got a good grade on an exam, got through my speech without forgetting much important, received a wonderful gift from a friend, and got Over-the-Top and Sonic with another. This brings me to God's goodness. I realize that today became a good day and so an easy one for me to be joyful in. It really didn't start out that way, though, and I honestly didn't deserve any of it in the least. I've been reading through Knowing God by J.I. Packer for my Theology 1 class and one of the chapters I read tonight was on God's goodness and severity. Packer is talking about the most prevalent facet of goodness being generosity, and this is what he says:

Generosity means a disposition to give to others in a way which has no mercenary motive and is not limited by what the recipients deserve but consistently goes beyond it. ... Generosity is, so to speak, the focal point of God's moral perfection; it is the quality which determines how all God's other excellencies are to be displayed. ... Theologians of the Reformed school use the New Testament word grace (free favor) to cover every act of divine generosity..." (Packer 162).

It's the 'free favor' part that gets me. Free. Favor. It makes me think of party favors, except you only get the favor if you attend the party. God's grace is not just if you attend the party. It's favor. For free.

March 25, 2011

I love the sound of rain. It's a good thing, because for the past week it has been pouring. I try to think of rain as 'confetti from the sky,' if only because it makes going to school in a downpour a little less....gray. Depressing? Bleak? Wet? Anyways, I still love the sound, especially when I am indoors and warm. The best part, though, is after the storm when everything is green and glittering with the wet and so fresh and alive. After all the oppressive clouting from the rain, the hills still rise triumphant and once-blossomed trees now display fresh coats.

April 15, 2011

41 days until the last day of Freshman year. 43 until camp. *happiness* Mom and Dad got me a book for my birthday, Suprised by Laughter: The Comic World of C.S. Lewis, and as soon as I finish this post I'll go start it. On one of the opening pages a quote stuck out, a defiant one I can only imagine came from a sad man: "If any cleric or monk peaks jocular words, such as provoke laughter, let him be anathema" (Ordinance, Second Council of Constance, 1418). I'm not sure how familiar he was with Psalm 100:1- "Serve the Lord with gladness." It is good to serve God with joy, because if we are not joyful in Him no due glory is given. A thought has been lulling in the back of my brain- God's glory and joy are inextricably intertwined. And if your joy is merely circumstantial, it isn't really glorifying because it's not joy in God, merely joy in the circumstance. And that is another post.