Hello, Wednesday

It is the middle of the week, almost 5 o'clock and I can. not. focus. My friends, the 2 cups of coffee and 1 earl gray latte are not helping. Nevertheless, here's my little quote that causes me to smile every time I read it- for each time I think of all the "you too['s]" that have become dear friends:

" The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, 'What? You too? I thought I was the only one.' "

~C.S. Lewis The Four Loves

Remembering for a Wild Moment...

Today is Wednesday, and usually by Wednesday I start missing my blog. Or rather, I miss the lull of checking my stats page to see what new obscure country has maintained a position on my readership list. Believe it or not, a person in Malaysia has read my blog! It was probably a mistake... So while my new official posting day is Saturday, as far as time allows, Wednesday will be something like "Quote Day," or maybe just a chance for me to offer up a middle week pick-me-up.

A Quote: " When we are very young children we don't need fairy tales: we only need tales. Mere life is interesting enough. A child of seven is excited by being told that Tommy opened a door and saw a dragon. But a child of three is excited by being told that Tommy opened a door. Boys like romantic tales; but babies like realistic tales-- because they find them romantic...This proves that even nursery tales only echo an almost pre-natal leap of interest and amazement. These tales say that apples are golden only to refresh the forgotten moment when we found that they were green. They make rivers run with wine only to make us remember, for one wild moment, that they run with water." ~G.K. Chesterton

I want all day to be filled with those "wild moments" where everything is new and thrilling and lovely.

Drink some coffee. Enjoy the sunshine- or the snow. Have a wild moment and look at something mundane with fresh eyes. Happy Wednesday!

6:00 AM

Monday will mark my 3rd week of school and something like my 5th week of pursuing intentionality. It really only took until the Thursday of my first week of school to realize this was going to be harder than I thought.

Last semester, I had Economics at 8 am, so I would wake up 6/6:30 to leave the house an hour later. I didn't really have any problems waking up and getting going in the morning which was almost a semi-miracle for me. Now, Spring Semester '11 is upon me- marked by the ever-cheerful neon orange parking sticker- and at 6 am I am glued to my pillow. I had very excitedly scheduled my first class of the day at 9:30. This way I could continue waking up at 6, like the previous semester, but be able to fit more into the morning before school. I have 3 hours to have my quiet time, walk with my mom, get ready and take care of any chores/leftover homework. This should leave me incredibly thankful and springing out of bed when my alarm goes off at 6am. It doesn't.

It was once pointed out to me that morning when we first wake up holds the most potential for sin- in the form of selfishness- than any other time of day. This makes sense when you think about it. Often the first thought to enter my head when I wake up is something along the lines of wondering where I am and why on earth is that obnoxious alarm going off? I proceed to hit the snooze with a vindictiveness the alarm must feel offended at- it is just doing its job-and grumble in my mind about it still being dark and being the first person up and having to go to a boring class and there not being any coffee made and having to actually get up at all. All this happens in less than a minute, and before the sun has even risen I have engaged in selfishness, grumbling and complaining and laziness. And I pride myself with 'beginning' the day with my quiet time?

What occurs between the minutes of 6:00 and 6:01 am seems very hopeless. Most the time I can not even remember what occurred in the first 15 minutes of my day very clearly, let alone take any of those thoughts captive. However, the Bible makes no exceptions: it does not say "Take every thought captive, with the exclusion of the first 15 minutes you are awake because that tends to be extremely difficult." Ah, no. It requires every thought to be taken captive. This, like anything, takes practice. Lots and lots and lots of practice. It has been 4 months since I have become aware of this habit and I have maybe managed to wake up being thankful for the day twice. Quite pathetic actually. All it should take is waking up and being grateful I actually have a bed to sleep in, that I had a full nights sleep, that I am privileged enough to continue my education when there are many that can not, and that there is even coffee to brew. And overall being thankful for new mercies every morning and the grace of Christ I carry with me throughout the day.

Though I know waking up is going to be a struggle I will face throughout this semester, I take heart in 2 things: 1.) The joy I have experienced in these last two weeks through the time I spend with God in the morning and 2.) William Law and George Mueller. Firstly, by the time I have a cup of coffee in hand and have laid out my Bible and journal in front of me I am already thankful that I didn't hit the snooze button 2 more times. By the end of my hour, it is apparent to me the time I was able to spend pursuing my relationship with Christ and knowing Him more was infinitely more worth than the extra half hour I could have slept in. Though as we all know, there are those days where it really did not seem worth it and the extra half hour did. This is when I take encouragement from two men, William Law and George Mueller. In John Piper's book When I Don't Desire God, he quotes both these men frequently in the chapters on prayer. These are the two quotes that have encourage me most:

" When you thus begin the day in the spirit of religion, renouncing sleep, because you are to renounce softness and redeem your time; this disposition, as it puts your heart into a good state so it will procure the assistance of the Holy Spirit; what is so planted and watered with certainly have an increase from God. You will then speak from your heart, your soul will be awake, your prayers will refresh you like meat and drink, you will fell what you say, and begin to know what saints and holy men have meant by fervors of devotion." William Law

I bristled a bit when he referred to sleep as "softness." I understand Mr. Law is not referring to a good night's sleep as softness, but rather to the excess of sleep I dearly crave. After all, who would consider the half hour from 6-6:30 excess sleep? I call it being a student- isn't that what everybody does? Regardless, Christians are not called to be "everybody else," but Christ-like. I'm not saying we all have to wake up at a specific time, everyone has different seasons of life and different schedules and different requirements to be met. We are each accountable to how we utilize our time, though. For me this means making sure I am in bed between 10-10:30 pm. Let me clarify that 11 to 11:30 is staying up late for me on a week night. While I understand this freely allows you to label me as an old woman, I also understand that going to bed any time after 10:30 makes it all the harder to fight the urge to sleep at 6 the next morning. I have made it a goal to attempt to cultivate the desire to be in the Word early in the morning rather than in my book late at night. For this undertaking I am spurred on by this last quote of George Mueller's:

"According to my judgement the most important point to be attended to is this: above all things see to it that your souls are happy in the Lord. Other things may press upon you, the Lord's work may even have urgent claims upon your attention, but I deliberately repeat, it is of supreme and paramount importance that you should seek above all things to have your souls truly happy in God Himself! Day by day seek to make this the most important business of your life."

My current thinking is that I need to order these last two quotes in the form of neon signs and flashing lights, to be attached to the ceiling as the first thing I see when I wake up. But something in me says continuous exposure to bright colors and blinking lights may result is seizures at a young age, so maybe I won't. The Holy Spirit is better than any neon sign, so I need to learn to let Him mold my will to staying awake rather than falling back asleep. So raise your coffee mugs to those early morning minutes of supreme and paramount importance and let the adventure begin.

The Big and the Little

It has been 2 weeks, 1 Hawaii vacation, and 1 first day of school since my last post. This means I am due for a new one. Trouble is, I have no new thoughts. Or more accurately, they have been thoughts along the lines of "Where on earth did they hide the Psych room?" "Did he really just LICK that?!?" and "rolloverhitthesnoozebutton....10moreminutes1omore." The last one really is how I think at 6 am. And multiple paragraphs of these sort of thoughts don't make for much of an edifying blog post. Instead, here are 5 things I'm thankful for, big and little, in no particular order.

1. Words For many reasons, words are one of my very favorite things. They are how people communicate, whether it be talking, or emails, or books, or letters, or postcards. Written words are how God chose to communicate with us. They are how people miles apart can stay in touch, and how mom can remind you via sticky-note that you really need to clean your room. We make ourselves known through them, teach through them, share through them.

2. Coffee surprise! Not only do I love it for the caffeine content and the smell, I love how it allows for people to just sit. The same goes for tea. Nothing else says to a person "I want you to stay for awhile to talk" than handing them a mug of something warm. After all, they have to wait for the beverage to cool some, and then they have to drink it all. It gives you a good 1/2 hr to an hr., and by then you'll have a good conversation rolling and all thoughts of science homework have gone out the door. Cheers!

3. Clouds I grew up in a place with trees. Lots and lots of very tall trees. It wasn't until I moved to a tree-less city that I really saw the sky- and the clouds in it. Cirrus clouds are my favorite, the thin whispy type, like ribbons across the sky. Cirrus clouds means high winds and unfavorable flying conditions. There's one outside my window now, it's a color undefinable by Crayola crayon, but looks like the center of a Cadbury Egg. Clouds make me think: about the weather that's coming, about the sort of shapes they could be, about the colors they are, about how neat it was that God gave us so much to wonder about and enjoy in a fluff of condensed water vapor.

4. Movies & Friends & Sugar Particularly tonight, when some of my favorite people are coming over to watch one of my favorite books (made into a motion picture, obviously) and eat some of my favorite types of cookies. And almost every other night, when I get to watch a.) a cop show b.)a spy/sci-fi/thriller drama show or c.) this is my developmentally-disabled child and these are the great lengths I go to to "..........." movie with my family, who pretty much only likes 3 types of entertainment.

5. First Days of School Really, I am thankful for the fact that I can spend the first week recovering from whatever break I was currently on by listening to my Professor read aloud the syllabus. It's a wonderful thing, knowing 90% of the time there will be no homework assigned on the first day, and if it is, it's usually just an assignment to go home and read the syllabus yourself. It's like a welcome-back gift!

There they were, 5 things. This type of post will appear every once in awhile when I have little else to write about. I realize I am not thankful enough, when I have so much to be thankful for. Though I deserve nothing and salvation is the greatest gift, God has still given me this life to live and enjoy! So I will be greatful for it and enjoy the masterpiece God has created in the sky while drinking a cup of coffee.

Reflections on Adventures in Narnia

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had an absolutely wonderful holiday (it's my favorite one!) and is enjoying whatever is left of Christmas break. I definitely am.

Christmas was lovely, and my parents surprised us with a trip to Hawaii from the 11th to the 18 of January. The prospect of sunny beaches between me and Spring semester is oh-so-wonderful. We should do this every year! Until then, I will content myself with the happy memories from the past weekend.

A week after Christmas, I packed up and headed to Denver, CO, where I met up with the WVA staff for 4 days. Needless to say, it was epic. There were snowballs, caffeine runs (Starbucks or the Pepsi machine, take your pick!), games, conversations, fireworks, frisbee games-in the snow-, and even a saran-wrapped staffer. And of course, a whole lotta' silliness. Meet the best college staff in America!

While there is little in this world able to beat a game of Killer Uno, or even a round of German Duck-Duck Goose, what I loved most about the weekend was the encouragement that came in the form of spontaneous hallway conversations and small group prayer. As a few of us would sit and dialog about our experiences since the summer and what we had- or hadn't- learned and applied, I felt the struggle to remain intentional with our lives at home was reiterated over and over again. Frankly, intentionality is a whole lot easier when someone else provides you with a schedule detailing every half hour from 7:30 am to 11:30 pm. The language Paul uses constantly throughout his letters, however, involves fighting and struggles and war. I.E., nothing involving 'easy.' Not to say that life has to always be difficult and challenging, merely that our purpose here is to run hard after Christ and stay our positions (2 Tim. 2:1-6). Therefore, my main 'war'- if I can call it that- is here, at home. And so it was often mulled over how we are to live at home in light of our experiences in Narnia- as I have affectionately taken to calling it as the Cook family does.

On Christmas day, our family went to see the Dawn Treader and a quote at the end stuck out to me. Aslan had just finished telling Lucy and Edmund they could no longer return to Narnia, naturally, they were a little distraught. I would be too.

" ' Are-are you there to, Sir?' said Edmund.

'I am," said Aslan. 'But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that be knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.' "

I love this because it sums up everything I wanted to say so much neater than I could've, because

I struggled with my specific purpose at camp. I knew, of course, that I was supposed to be there, after

all, that's where I was. But after that, I really had next to no idea. So after spending the past 6 months

trying to figure it out, I think I have it. I saw God work in ways I never had before while I was at camp,

provide in ways I don't know I'd ever asked for Him to provide in. He stirred up in me a greater recognition

of His mighty power and faithful love, so that I would have a taste of it and seek more. Now I cannot claim

God's specific purposes in doing anything- other than He does that which brings glory to Himself.

For the New Year, then, I want to act on my knowledge of God. Not just on Sundays, Bible Study nights,

in the mornings, during Worldview stuff, or when I feel particularly spiritual. I want my love for God to be so great

(and love comes through knowing Him), that I act upon that love first thing when I wake up, throughout

breakfast and classes, lunch, late afternoon coffee and homework. Play time, sleep time, practice time, study

time, all the time. That, dear friends, is my one resolution for the new year. Many little ones I am sure

will come underneath its umbrella, but I can aim no higher than the glory of God.

Dear Whoever-is-Reading-This,

I just couldn't say "Dear Reader." It sounds too much like Dear Abbey. Today the low's are supposed to be 29, and it's supposed to rain. I would like snow. Please?

I haven't written in forever, I apologize for the neglect- it's rather pathetic. I had midterms, finals, Fall Camp...and now it's Thanksgiving Break! I, however, am listening to Christmas music. Technically I'm not allowed to until after Thanksgiving Dinner, per Dad's request- er -command. There's a reason mom bought him a Scrooge hat. Anyways, Thanksgiving is in two days. I came home from class today (Napa's lame and made us go to school this week) to a bubbling pot of jeweled cranberries that I couldn't help but taking a spoonful of....just a little one. Or two. Cranberry sauce is the highlight of Thanksgiving for me, a hallmark of the season when I realize the taste I had while it was still cooking also ended up on the hem of my white blouse. Of course, Sweet Potato casserole comes in a very close second, mainly because it's topped with marshmallows and brown sugar and oh-my-goodness is it good! Instead of shopping on Black Friday, I eat that stuff for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Talk about a serious sugar buzz.

Thanksgiving day mom usually requests that the entire family starve (ok, so we're allowed a bowl of cereal) until it's dinner time. Riiiiiight...I remember one Thanksgiving in particular where this was strictly enforced. We were all driving out to my cousins' in Danville and my brother and I hadn't eaten anything the whole day. I thought we were going to die. Really. Thankfully, my aunt had compassion (i.e. she had a large bowl of trail mix in the center of the coffee table) and Malcolm and I didn't die. Then there's the usual dinner with all the regular stuff. Of course there's no room for dessert after dinner, so we go for a walk. If we're at my grandparent's in Pt. Reyes we may hike. Hardcore, I know. Coming back home after this is the best feeling: the coffee's on and dessert is out. We stay for maybe another hour and on the drive home we cajole dad to "Please, pleeease let us listen to Christmas music now?" It doesn't take a lot. Once at home, we put on another pot of coffee- maybe tea- get in comfy clothes and watch a show. While eating more dessert, of course. I usually put up my Christmas lights around 10-11 that night. Thanksgiving is over.

That's still in two days, though. Right now I'm waiting for mama to come home and watch E.R. The clouds are drifting over the no-longer-blue sky. I am thankful. Thankful for all the little things like letters, chai, comfy socks, Christmas music. For people like my parents, who take me out to breakfast before school; my crazy brothers- one who's more of a hardcore shopper than I am, the other one who constantly laughs at the dinner table and my best friends who make me drive to Sac. in rainstorms, like coffee as much as me, and read my blog. I am thankful for Christ who gives me joy in His Son, even though I am an "are not" (1 Cor. 1:28).

Happy Thanksgiving!!

~Hannah

Eternal Creatures

My family and I went camping over Labor Day weekend about a month ago. One of the things I adore about camping is that zero requirements exist on your time, with the exception of eating. This allows for copious napping and time to just sit and think without a cloud of uselessness hanging over your head, because there is absolutely nothing requiring you to be useful. During one of these sessions, I started to think about Heaven. Not because the smoke currently bombarding my face reminded me of Heaven at all, but merely because I had been thinking about it lately.

It had struck me that we cannot hope for something we have not tasted. I am currently reading When I Don't Desire God by John Piper and he had been talking about desire and hope. With this thought then, we cannot hope for Heaven if we have not already tasted of it. Obviously, none of us has died, experienced Heaven, and then resurrected in order that we may hope for Heaven. This would make no sense whatsoever. The only other option, then, is that we experience some of Heaven on earth.

This is the idea I was mulling over while freezing in front of a Saturday morning fire which hadn't quite got up to size yet. At what points do we catch glimpses of Heaven? What are the necessary factors? And how do we even know enough about what Heaven is like to be able to see something that sparks recognition of it and causes yearning? We have all, at some point or another, probably experienced something that made us say, "That was a little bit of Heaven." I'm sure some of those times that particular statement has also stemmed from the somewhat obnoxious habit of exaggeration, or from another tendency people have to over-use phrases so they no longer have a special meaning anymore. Other times, though, it really is a foretaste of Heaven.

For fear of pinning down to a science something that I'm not sure should necessarily be understood, I don't want to lay claim to knowing when, where, or how God's children can experience those foretaste's of Heaven. Often I think they come and go so fast, because they are marred by our sin. Maybe the most obvious way is through what we read in Scripture. Images of streets of gold and jewel-studded gates inhabit our minds as something we could only dream about, but that the Bible says awaits us. I cannot help but think, however, that our finite minds have limited our ideas of Heaven to poor human images. It seems almost shameful to merely think of Heaven in terms of material riches, for if God can do far more beyond what we can ask or imagine, why would Heaven be merely the jeweled city in our minds? What makes me hopeful is the idea that Heaven is perfection, it is everything purely as God meant it to be. "Nothing impure will ever enter it [Heaven], nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life." (Revelation 21:27

I’m just finishing up a book called A Severe Mercy, and towards the end of it the main character is reflecting on the nature of time and why we always seem to be so harried by it.

“Then, if we complain of time and take such joy in the seemingly timeless moment, what does that suggest?

It suggests that we have not always been or will not always be purely temporal creatures. It suggests that we were created for eternity. Not only are we harried by time, we seem unable, despite a thousand generations, even to get used to it. We are always amazed at it- how fast it goes, how slowly it goes, how much of it is gone. Where, we cry, has the time gone? We aren’t adapted to it, not at home in it, if that is so, it may appear as a proof, or at least a powerful suggestion, that eternity exists and is our home.” (203)

Mr. Vanauken states it better than I could’ve ever done: we are made for Heaven, and therefore we long for it- all be it sometimes unknowingly. Here I will stop, all my words seeming superfluous next to his, with this one statement (again, not my words): “Therefore, since we have such a hope (in Heaven) we are very bold.” 2 Corinthians 3:12